Chapter Two: Anxiously Existing

We’re there every time, we watch because we can’t participate, and we do dream that one day we would be the one who’s gonna be in someone else’s shoes, being the best player. They say ‘Just grab the opportunity as it’ll fly out and you’ll miss out on the things you would enjoy; but what if we don’t want to risk the chance ‘cause we’re too anxious to do it? What if the outcome of our choice would lead to just another huge mistake? 

Most ‘nobodies‘ are scared to commit and grab the opportunity because they once were caught in a scenario in which they did, but it doesn’t end well. That’s the main reason we exist anxiously. We are aware of the standards set by those inside the room, with us; that once we try to climb up out of being a ‘nobody’, we have a huge risk of being made fun of. In our eyes, they were living this huge gap between our differences and the perks of being well-known and well-loved people. They were this epitome of awesomeness that everybody loved and wants to be surrounded with, while we [the ‘nobodies’] have these curse-like traits that could spoil the fun of everybody we came in contact with. We think we are tainted with our character, and whenever we present ourselves to others, we are prone to turning every scenario into chaos. 

It is hard to believe in ourselves when there’s literally no one believing in us. We are worried that we don’t qualify for their attention because we devalue ourselves into just ‘existing’ rather than living our own damn lives.